Bluemoon's Little Shop of Wicca

A Day in the Life of Hamilton Part 1

Hamilton's So Called Homeless


     I have a question that has been really bothering me these past couple of summers. Since when did it become okay to take over our streets with carts and furniture, sleeping bags and garbage? When did we decide as city to let people live in our beautiful trails? Places that used to be a nice getaway from the city life with your family. Something that was free and we all could enjoy. Today we hear of daily attacks, we see people living under tarps, making homes under the trees, having bomb fires in our parks etc. I realize many people are in need and are on limited funds but we all know there are shelters, rooming houses, places where the can seek help and financial assistance. In my line of work I see it everyday I see the government funding flying out the window to people who waste it on drugs, lie about having spouses (for the record NO not all people in need or on assistance are like this). 
The Keyword is Hungry
      I know we heard it from our parents but this city has certainly changed on grand levels since I was a child. When did it become a job to beg for money. When did people say you know what who needs to put in a hard days effort to better my community and the other people who live in it? There was a time people took pride in what they did whatever that may have been. Something I always tell my children. It really doesn't matter what you do for a living what matters is no matter what you do ALWAYS be the best you can. People today take for granted the resources that are available to them. There was a time there was no welfare or help for single parents. 
     I have a story for you. I was out working the other day and decided to stop and get myself some lunch. Standing outside the sandwich shop was a guy with a sign much like the one above stating that he was in need of food. I felt sorry for him, it was a really hot day and he did in fact look like he was desperate. I went into the shop and bought two subs and two drinks. I came ot all porud of myself for the good deed I was about to do. I approached the man and said I saw your sign and wanted to help so I bought you this (big smile), I passed it to him he looked me dead in the eye and said "What the FUCK am I supposed to do with that?" OMG I was at a loss. Normally I have plenty to say and for a moment I was just dumbfounded, I then looked at him and went on a rant about him being whats wrong people today, selfish with no regard for anyone else, I told him that he sickened me. I took both my drinks and sandwiches and went home and shared with my much deserving mother instead. LOL

The Goddess Within Me



     Mental illness is not an easy road for anyone. I struggle each days with emotions I cant even name let alone get a handle on. My mind races from one thing to the next. I am like a ticking time bomb just waiting to go off at anytime. The struggle is very real my friends. Each morning I wonder if its even worth getting out of my bed. What exactly do I have to offer the world. My answer is usually the same NOTHING. I feel empty and at the same time so full I'm ready to boil over, just spill out all over the world. Saying here I am, this is the real me.
     Mental illness is not something you can easily explain. Even though many of us may have the same diagnosis the actual symptoms are different. The amount in which each person can handle also plays a factor, and of course how good your acting skills are. LOL Sounds funny I know but so true. The daily routines of getting dressed, putting on my make-up etc... plastering that smile on my face and pretending that my head isn't ready to explode. Its not only phoney, acting whatever you want to call it. Its also very draining. I do these things because I know its whats expected not because I care or want to but because I am trying to prove to those around me I am okay. I don't need a chaperone everywhere I go.
     Sometimes I wish I could become my inner Goddess, that beautiful woman I see within. So strong and confident. In complete control of all her emotions and thoughts. Never sad or insecure, never blue or lonely. Wanting for nothing for all she wants is hers.  I know shes there I can feel her. I sense her all around me, within me. I truly am a good hearted person with pure intentions. 
     I seek her out in my every day life hoping one of these days she'll make an appearance. Will the cool headed, well adjusted Goddess ever show herself or will she be forever locked away within. Trapped much like I feel everyday!