Dealing with mental illness is never an easy day. Most people do not and can not ever truly understand the battle that occurs in my mind on a daily basis. Depression, borderline personality disorder, chronic PTSD, anxiety. You put on a smile, a happy face to those who pass by. Hoping no one notices the torture behind your eyes. I wake each day with thoughts of self hate. It takes all my will power just to roll out of the bed. My mind dwells on the negative, the pain I cause others, the destruction I cause everywhere I go! No matter how hard I try I know it's never enough because I'm not enough, smart enough, pretty enough, cant focus enough, cant understand enough the list doesnt end. Family tries to understand sometimes to the point of annoyance. They tell you these things aren't true. There in your head. This is not helpful number one I dont believe you and probably think if you're saying nice things you want something from me. I truly believe my thoughts and actions are rational and only realize they may be blurred because i constantly here its NOT NORMAL!!!!
I am an almost 38 year old separated mom of two girls.I am a Wiccan a proud to be! Every day is a new adventure for our crazy crew! My mom and I run our own Property Management Company and we have four dogs. Its non stop antics around this household. I hope you enjoy following along.